welcome to the innernet's worst motorcycle periodical

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

i was just sitting in the garage thinking about the past season. wow, so much fun. i am not an amazing person by any stretch but i am often amazed at some of the opportunities i have come across. i can't wait to see what next year has in store.

Monday, December 27, 2010

this seems counter-productive

so the AMA says i need at least one set of functioning brakes and the front set is optional. but with moving the rider's position comes moving all the stuff the rider uses. making the brakes work from so far back wasn't really that hard but all the bits needed some re-working. 

 the lever needed to have a new pivot and its arm extened
i remember reading an old interview with an F1 crew chief. i forget who it was or most of what was written. the one thing i did take away was him saying something like: the trick to making a car competitive is making everything in it do more than one thing. now the brake anchor point now pulls triple duty; brake anchor, peg mount and brake pivot.

 it would be a bummer to put a bunch of effort into making something only to have it come all apart. and while at Loring i took the opportunity to go over some of the more professional rigs. a common trait that they all shared was the abundance of safety wire. more specifically, how many more things they thought to safety wire. i am absolutely taking this observation to heart.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

the start

          one time i thought that it would be a good idea to get a motorcycle. i thought that i was a high roller at the time and could spare to blow a weeks pay on something like this. anyways, i remember pulling through the Want Add for a couple weeks and everything i found was just beyond that week's pay allotment. then i got a letter in the mail. it looked official and  had an insurance companies name on the return address. i was about to toss it. i had insurance and it was at a good price so why shop around. not sure why i opened it but that was the start of this whole thing. there, inside the envelope was the first step in a long chain of bad decisions. it was a check for $850. i had completely forgotten about a stupid, little, nothing fender bender i had been in. to be fair, i had nothing to do with it outside of picking a parking space. when a girl with no credentials besides a Learner's Permit misjudged the length of her hood and gave my truck the smallest little kiss. her mother felt it was important to build some character right off the bat so after a cop, some signatures and a couple weeks, i find myself with adequate funds to repair my truck. yeah, okay.  
            i needed to find the sickest ride going. this fucker was gonna be all style, super fast and i was gonna ride it forever. yeah, okay. 
            i found this tight little package in the form of a '78 CB750 for six bills. a tire kicking session was arranged and my fate was soon sealed. along for the ride was "the boss" and best friend; a moral support kind of thing. neither of us knew shit. blah blah blah, i talked this dude down to five hundred but i wanted to take it down the street to nail it down. immediate deterioration. the brains of this operation is suddenly hit by a jolt of lightning right down the crack of her ass. with some well selected words, many being "fuck", it soon comes to my attention that among my list of talents is not found piloting a two-wheeled beast. this next recollection picks up at that point.
           this dude's helmet i've crammed my squash into smells like grandpa's boxer shorts and has similar padding. safty is not the concern here; mount the steed. lets start the show and get this mule running, the knees must be in the proverbial breeze immediatly if not sooner. i see a red button, red always points towards progress. cram that thing down, this bike will feel your presense and it will succomb to your desires. reluctantly the spinny things in the bowels seem to patter down into some kind of concert that must be the idle. twist the wic. that is just pure fun rattling around downstairs, lets raise these old bones to the occasion. stomping the lever arm into its first gear position was not unlike stepping in dog-poop. always more force was applied then required and always the bummer moment when things start to cascade. leggo of the leash and we'll be in mexico by dawn. i twisted hard on the right and fucked off the clutch... i am piloting this grasshopper down the road with a fury and in a somewhat planned direction! who knew?
              where am i? 3rd, for sure. go back down we need to end in first but not before i get to 5th. this loop that the natives call a neighborhood is now my TT. i traversed it in a triangle patter cause thats how i am rollin.
          it is up and humping my leg before i know it and then back to calm. boss-girl asks: taking it home? fact. what we have here is a relationship between the asphault and the metaphsical forces that re-immerse such wicked beings as we back into the cosmic circle. one more dos-wheeled demon is born. once a being, and now a connected one to all that makes the marble roll around. ride on.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Lowside Syndicate has their third issue coming out this month and Rich tells me that Coconut Customs has made the cut. 
partying as hard as i can...
 

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I know a guy...

customs on a budget (bozeman)

Date: 2010-12-21, 2:18PM MST
Reply to: serv-tyhdf-2124324450@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

do you want to customize your bike but think its either too hard or expensive? in all likely hood it is, so drop me a line and i can help you get that stock bike to stand out. i am a tightwad so i know how to keep costs low and enjoy re-using old parts. plus i am into all makes and models; i can make your moped into a slut-magnet. however, please don't waste my time if you just need someone to bolt on all the mail-order crap you just bought for your "custom", its boring and your bike is gonna look dumb. but if you have a bike or idea that needs to be loud, fast and barely street-legal please respond.

  • Location: bozeman
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests




PostingID: 2124324450

salty progress...


the steering damper was moved more inboard
super sweet banana seat is mounted as low as it can go and with the addition of different struts it can change the seat height.
next is the foot controls but the profile is already a bit lower.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Sunday, December 19, 2010

$8,500 for an ironhead!? EAT DICK!



1974 IRON HEAD XLCH FATSTER - $8500 (South Coast, MA)

" GREAT CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR A LOVED ONE"

VINTAGE OLD SCHOOL 1974 H.D. IRONHEAD XLCH FATSTER. HEADS PORTED AND POLISHED, WISCO 010 PISTONS, BLACK DIAMOND VALVES, MANLEY VALVE KEYS AND SPRINGS. ANDREWS CAMS ,S+S CARB. SINGLE FIRE IGNITION. BRAND NEW CHROME STARTER AND GENERATOR. ALSO KICK.

NEW CLUTCHES,NEW CHAIN, NEW VOLT REG, NEW STARTER RELAY,NEW COIL, NEW BATTERY AND CABLES. NEW IN DASH STARTER SWITCH. NEW FRONT TIMKEN STEERING BEARING. NEW SM BULLET DIRECTIONS FRONT AND REAR. NEW CLUTCH AND BRAKE CABLES, COMPLETLY RE-WIRED. NEW TIRES AND TUBES. HEAVY DUTY DRAG BARS. 98 WIDE GLIDE FRONT WITH 21 INCH TIRE. FAT BOB TANK , BOBTAIL FENDER.

BEAUTIFULL CANDY APPLE WITH METAL FLAKES WITH VERY DEEP GHOST FLALMES ON TANK AND FENDERS. AIR BRUSHED EAGLE ON TANK AND WOLF ON REAR FENDER.

THIS BIKE RUNS AND RIDES AS GOOD AS IT LOOKS! RUNS VERY STRONG, MANY COMPLIMENTS!!! MUCH MORE INVESTED EXTRAS WILL GO WITH BIKE

CALL ***** AT 508-***-****

Location: South Coast, MA

laughable..

my last day in MA


quality time with some old friends

Friday, December 17, 2010

wonder if it leaks

i used to have a fast bike...

  so i was on my way home a couple years ago and as i started into the neighborhood i saw something that nearly made me crash the car. the house on the corner had a bit of candy pushed to the end of the driveway with a "for sale" sign on it.
    i gunned it home and then beat-feet through the woods to check this bike out. i was in a very vulnerable time in my early 2-wheeled enthusiast's development. not only was i young and pretty stupid but i have just grenaded my CB750 a couple months earlier. AND a bunch of my friends were starting to pick up bikes while i was confined to four wheeled locomotion.
    the slick looking scooter had caught my eye because i had been to a couple dealerships oogling the newer GSX-R's, mainly the pre-'99 750's. those were the last years of carburation and the fairing reminded me of humping a big 'ol slob; something about the shapes in the plastics still drives me nuts.
   my neighbor's bike turned out to be a '99 600. okay, a little small, but worth investigating. so once i knock on the door i find out that he had bought it to be his track-bike and that it had never been on the road. the bad news  was that it had been raced but the other side of that being it was a winning bike and maintained accordingly. "wanna go for a spin"? i said sure but let me run home to get my helmet and gloves. when i got back this 50yo guy had the top half of his zip-ups on while warming up the 600 and his Duc 999. i remember thinking: ahh shit.
  "we'll just go down the street a clip so you can see what she can do"
  "sure, but i've never ridden anything this powerful before"
  "its cool, just stay on my wing and the michelins will take care of the rest"
-ahh hell; ever have an experience so intense that it still makes you stomach sink?
   so we pull out into the road with absolutely no cars around, he gives a look back to see that i am working the controls properly and then "ahh hell". the space between Haven Rd and Plymouth South High School is pretty small and a bit inadequate to hit 80mph while still making it into the school's entrance so we settled for 75. stay on his wing, down to third, second, brake, lean. right turn into the driveway, whack it to the top of 2nd, brake, hard left. ahh hell, we're going to the middle school. to the top of third for the easy right to the middle school's lot. i fingered the clutch a little too much and the motor spooled way up so when i dumped it back out the front wheel lifted as i kept accelerating. my boner was a little distracting and uncomfortable. with the latest goof-up with the clutch i decided to skip that detail and went to fourth without it. i thought i had time to look so i spied both needles on the gauges  were pointed quite a bit to the right. oh, shit the next right came up quickly; both brakes, down to second, lean. lean more. settle down. as my heart catches up to my face and common sense is a distant memory, my man on his Duc slows way down and lifts his visor.
   "you good"?
  "yeah, fine" fuckin liar.
  we did under 50 around the parking lot and reversed our direction. i remember thinking: okay, that was a little fast, probably should take it easy for the return. fuckin liar. as soon as we hit the straight again the rich exhaust from the Ducati hit me in the face. second, third, fourth, fuck the clutch. i didn't even have the sense to tuck and duck. down to third for the now left hander, then whack-whack for the next straight, right, straight. left out into the street; eased it into first then front wheel up for second, down for third and fourth. pull clutch, hold, coast, brakes and cruise back into his driveway.
  we both took our helmets off and the look on my face made him smile and laugh.
"if i pay you tomorrow, can i keep it at your house for a day? i need to figure out how to explain this to my mom".

Monday, December 13, 2010

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Brockton Flat Track '08





Yeah, this guy races his Flathead Chopper on the dirt! When he's not doing that, he builds stock car chassis.



Jeff For Sale! races some nice Triumphs up here.
Dinosaurs in Brockton.


Yes, that's an XR750, and yes, that is #1. Kenny Coolbeth was there that year, racing his 450 Honda. When he races, it looks like he is flying around the track, just throwing the bike around the corners below him effortlessly.

#57u Asa Irish Actually led #1 Kenny Coolbeth for two laps that day. I wanna see that happen again, Ace Man!


The last of the long track, Brockton, Mass. 2008. Maybe the last ever. RIP Dave Bettencourt.

some Loring





Thursday, December 9, 2010

finally, back to work...

 i've been in transition for either 3 or 25 months, depending how you look at it. now, with any luck, i can unpack ALL of my shizzle and get down to some fun.
its a good space but a little cold and only room for one bike bench. but i've made better with less.

randoms




Tuesday, December 7, 2010

epic randoms

 cow creek, ut

the backway into moab from colorado


not sure where this is