welcome to the innernet's worst motorcycle periodical

Friday, July 30, 2010

Thursday, July 29, 2010

rat-faced killa

some more smoke out nonsense. this may have been from the choppahead booth. those guys are a hoot.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

i found this patch high atop a panhead. a little american history...

Monday, July 26, 2010

so yummy

the only reason that this pic. came out is because that fender is so tight.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

coming together...

i have no idea what this picture has to do with anything but its Mom-Dukes rocking an AR-15 so thats still pretty cool.
and for those who care (pretty much only me), shit ain't broke no mo. my stupid ironhead has dodged the recycling pile once again and the van is hooked on phonics. which brings us to the salt bike... the dawn hot lap was a success in many regards. the bike pulled hard in 3rd with 14-28 gearing. this puts me just south of 80mph which may make a decent impression if i can pull it to 5th. however, these exciting results were not enough to break the stone demeanor of the EPA. i am sure that i was the last thing he expected to come across at 5:30am; especially considering i was fully bling'd out in a Vanson onesie riding the remnants of a dirt bike. he was nice and let me go on the promise that he would never, ever see me again. fair enough.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

stupid motors

so six hours into trying to dial in my crab on the salt bike and i am getting pissed. no matter what i do things seem to suck and just when i don't think it can get any worse, dylan comes over. not only that but he notices oil splatter on my frame that is suspiciously even with my head gasket. apparently my tunnel vision was pretty bad, i was so fixated on the carb, i ignored the obvious signs of a tanked motor.
the piston looks pretty good, surprisingly enough. but when i turned the motor i couldn't help but notice a sound in the lower end that resembled nothing short of tears and failure. the lower conn-rod bearing was no longer along for the ride. i can't figure out why either. just because the motor was often redlined with returded gearing.... wonder if its because its had 30 years of abuse cause there is no conceivable way that this was my fault.

on the plus side the jug is totally hone-able.
so 3 hours later, the back-up engine is in and ready to go. it still screams pretty good but longevity is in question.
and then the van decided that i didn't need to get laid.
all forms of motorized transportation are down for the moment but the road to recovery is clear and straight.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

stupid clutch cable

what kind of underhanded, bullshit part breaks on a sunday?!?! Resistentialism, fact.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

old guys have the coolest stuff

this thing has an updated suspendsion, brakes and drivetrain all clad in the shell of a rust bucket. the tour package is completed with bike tie-downs in the back and the pop-tent that simply folds over onto itself.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

little teaser for ya

we just did a shoot of a local Shovel/Pan made by a local chopper hero, keep you posted on this...

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

so jealous...

i don't think anyone really knows how bad i've been wanting a mini. that is where my motorized, 2-wheel interests started; on a limp-dick, banana-seat mini in the Myles Standish state forest.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Sunday, July 11, 2010

So far this month

As a general rule, contributing to this blog is what I do when I run out of things to do in the real world. Recently I've been finding myself involved in more and more photo and blog worthy projects and activities, but instead of breaking from the excitement(because trust me, it's exciting shit) to go grab my camera, I've been opting to stay focused and actually get some work done. However, for the moment I have successfully appeased Adam (the ADD monster that lives in my brain) with large quantities of watermelon sherbet, the sweet sounds of Murphy's Law, and promises of exploring the new building I now call home, so with out further adieu, so far this month..
By an amazing demonstration of poor planning, the 5 of us all managed to convene in Rockingham, NC for this years Smokeout. Camp Coconut was hastily set up and hastily blown away by the most intense wind and lighting storm I've ever done a burnout in the middle of an open field during as documented by Weird beard's waterproof electronic digital soul stealer. Actually that statement isn't entirely true. Kenny's tent was in fact not blown away as it was being held static by the intense weight of his chrome plated balls. Once the storm passed underwear was changed and the camp was rebuilt.
At some point on Friday a very persuasive voice announced over the PA, "anyone interested in running their bike on the dragway should meet at the start line with a helmet and leather jacket." Enter Adam the ADD monster in my head, and I instantly forgot about how I was supposed to baby my KTMAHA for the required 10 mile ACO ride the next morning. "Get your shit together asshole, I wanna race" was all I heard. I cant remember what my time was, but I know it sucked. No way was I being that guy that launches his uncaptained chrome pony through the traps on its side (he showed up later) so I totally babied it when the light turned green. What I do know is that the little hamster that could exited the 1/8 mile at 97mph. I'm fairly certain it exited the 1/8 mile about 10lbs lighter too as almost every nut and bolt I forgot to safety wire decided to peace out.
Next up was the glorified piece of Harley Davidson farm equipment I so lovingly call "Hope." (see: Abandon all..) Hope exited the 1/8 mile at something like 76mph at another irrelevant time. Sadly she exited the track with all of her 498lbs. Soon after while on the way to acquire delicious meats for crucial bbqing, Hope's transmission gave up the ghost. Once home I pulled the transmission out and found I had broken a tooth off of my countershaft third gear. Now my gears are in the capable hands of Gentle Ken and his boss..and I'm sitting on my floor eating sherbet, listening to Murphy's Law, and typing run on sentences about things no one could possibly care about. Adam says its dinner time.. to be continued

Coconut Customs welcomes Steady Jeff

Dylan's team! --wb


Saturday, July 10, 2010

I don't know what Smokeout Dylan and Warren were at, but this one had tits!

Man, Roadside Marty sure does have a gift, when it comes to talking young girls out of their clothes! Unfortunately, he told me, that it mostly works when he is on a stage and in front of hundreds of drunken bikers. Great for us, though! Even better for water bearers GTP and Massachussetts' own Smokin' Eddie Black!Only after we set up Camp Coconut for the weekend did we notice the bright red jersey barrier with the fresh concrete slab poured next to it. It's a good thing none of us (except Dylan) planned on sleeping the entire time.
Lots of drag racing went on all weekend. Lots of street bikes, choppers, and even some full on drag bikes and top fuel nitro burners. This one ended up in the campground at 3 am.
Lowbrow's latest super sano triumph. These guys rule! Totally hospitable throughout the whole event, handing out cold drinks and tons of swag to all who stopped by. They even remembered me from last year's Smokeout! Makes me want to give them even more of my money! Seriously, they have some of the coolest tees on the planet, all the best mags, and they are the place to go to when you need anything from Builtwell. (and you do)

Oh yeah! Did I mention there were naked girls there too? Even though Dylan doesn't like wet t-shirt contests anymore, I figgered he would want to see these pics if only for editorial purposes. Ha ha. Sorry buddy, couldn't help it!

Well that's it for now, maybe tomorrow it will rain again and I will learn how to post more than five pictures at a time...

Five more reasons why this shit is called a Smokeout!

Coconut Customs' very own Captain Holeshot (such a dorky nickname) keeping a watchful eye on the late night burnout fest. Starting at around 1 am, happy campers pulled up to the Cushman and tried their best to smoke their tires and in some cases, their drivetrains.
This guy put his trusty shovel to the test repeatedly throughout the night but could not kill the beast.
After running on the strip all day, the owner of this drag bike decided to leave what was left of his slick in the campground.

After this pic, the camera was useless and nobody standing within 100 square yards could see or hear anything, let alone even breathe.

Totally righteous pic of a hefty Asian burn session.

That is all from Ken's Korner for tonight. When I can take another break from riding my machine and growing my mullet, I will post some more worthy pics that survived my journey back from the Smokeout 11. Lots of goodies including naked chicks, drag racing and kickass choppers!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

am i allowed to be having this much fun with a model?

meet stephanie; libra, short, likes long walks on the beach, motorcycles and is apparently partial to dirty underachievers. she's nice and fortunately, a very quick learner.
"ever wanted to learn to spit fire"?
"ummmm...... what? i guess"
after a quick tutorial: ready, aim....
and now this pic makes sense.

i am not really into cars...

but i still want a shifter that could give me a black eye.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


my antics were surprisingly well received down south
this is a detail of Tic-Tok's Chop-Off winner. his flatty has an open chain primary with a same-side jackshaft and final drive yet still balances well when stood up off the kickstand. way to raise the bar.
the ACO guys killed it too. this is on the green-tanked, spikey-exhaust Norton a couple post below. i hope there is a restoration guy crying over this.

Attack Choppers, live it.

Bird speaks the truth. To sum up his deal: have your shit sorted out and ready for even the Zombie Apocalypse, cause you never know.

reading his manifesto recently gave us a new kick in the pants. and it was running in the back of my mind as i checked out a group of bikes that are, as a whole, the most "sorted out" of all. if you ever happen upon the chance to go over a Stampede bike, take pictures and get some tips from the builders. you'll find yourself safety wiring everything and trimming all kinds of bullshit.

Monday, July 5, 2010


you may think that the sporty above has popped the tire pictured below, this is false. to our amazement, when the smoke cleared, we found that the tire had dug into the pavement.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

smoke out fun...

engraved trans cover on a shovel. the time and effort people put into these silly machines is truly inspiring. anyone would be fortunate to have this kind of dedication.
nice face. i bet he is saying something super intelligent too. prolly gonna kick me in the pills later for goofin on him, bummer.
this is part of my mental picture of mexico, delusional is a good term...