welcome to the innernet's worst motorcycle periodical

Sunday, October 31, 2010

things i learned today...

if you are clipping your fingernails while pushing a squash, don't let the trimmings fall into your under-trousers

Things I learned today...

- When you purchase a used handgun from a licensed dealer in Massachusetts, they indeed do just toss it in a plastic bag and send you on your way.

-It is illegal to hunt a turkey with anything other than a shotgun or bow. The significance of this law being that weird beard and myself may no longer follow through with our plan to dispatch turkeys with golf clubs. (self defense scenarios excluded)


-There is a slight "grey area" as it pertains to golf clubs being securely fastened to firearms and bows.

-It is currently gray squirrel hunting season and no special permit/tag is required.


-Weird beard's old man is still a hoot.

-Halloween is, in fact, the BEST day to go to MaryLou's (http://www.marylous.com) because inevitably one of the employees will be dressed as a "Hooter's" girl, thus removing all doubt of her next career move.

the LTA updated their site

i found this on one of their pages. it doesn't have my name next to it but no one else is gonna own up to making such a silly mousetrap. anyways, i had to take a good look at it; wondering if my butt looks too big. but really, what was i thinking when i called this "race ready"? granted its a solid bike and it slipped through safety inspection like a greased walrus, but ready to race? 
things to do: get those silly wires out of the wind, feet way further back, reversed shift pattern, HEAD DOWN, some slick fenders would help, lower the whole bike, HEAD DOWN, hands farther back and in tighter, enclose the rear section, gotta get my ass a little lower and get that bulbus, bean-can down and out of the wind. 

number 9402

Saturday, October 30, 2010

what i really need...

i know know one reads this blog but whatever. i need to get in touch with someone that knows a lot about carbs. not just how to tune one but how they function: like fuel metering by mass vs. volume and forced air induction stuff (not turbos but sorta). if anyone knows a person please send an email in this direction.

Friday, October 29, 2010

well worth the $9.50 admission

landracing.com heist

think going in a straight line is a simple enough task? i have been thinking about the benefits of running a scoop for awhile but i can't make up my mind. this article hurts my brain further and is not helping me to decide.

Written by Jon Amo   
Sunday, 07 January 2007
"Column of Air" Scoop Sizing Hypothesis
"Column of Air" Scoop Sizing Hypothesis
One of the "black arts" in any kind of racing is how to get air into the engine without starving it or producing too much drag at the top end. For a long time, now, Land Speed Racers have been using a hypothesis that says that the engine can injest a column of air that matches the engine's need if the scoop is sized just right. This becomes a fairly simple thing to determine mathematically and it works at a target speed and engine RPM. For any speed less than the target speed and at WOT the scoop size is too small and unmentionable things may happen to the motor, especially if using a carb which depends on air flow signals to meter the proper amount of fuel. I will develop the formula for sizing your scoop which will need only your engine displacement, an estimate of the engine volumetric efficiency, and the target speed you seek. Examples of the scoop size being too small will also be developed in examples.
Remember, I do this for fun and the value to you, the racer, fan, or whatever is worth only what you put on it. Should you use this formulation, I would like to hear of your experiences. 
Assumptions and Givens
I make no assumptions,in this analysis. Howeve, if you have something that you think should be included, send it to me and I'll think about it.
1) Engines are air pumps
2) CFM of air injested for a given RPM is constant. Mass of air will change with ambient conditions or boost, but, CFM does not change for a given RPM and engine size.
What follows was an academic exercise for me and hopefully the answer to some of the clients questions on scoops size needed. It is not intended to be a definitive answer to anything except our collective curiosity. To that end, if you find it useful, amusing or down right distasteful,GREAT! You may find errors, wrong assumptions, or other nastiness and I will appreciate you pointing them out to me. Complaints should be backed up by real data, through either analyses of your own or documented information. I am ameniable to changing my thinking iffn there is good reason to. Opinions, by themselves, just don't cut it.
Here we GO!
The underlying question of sizing a scoop is how small can I make it and still feed the engine. Smallness is required because drag becomes prominent when speeds go up and air spills around the scoop opening because it is larger than needs to be. This added drag reduces the top speed of the vehicle. The foundation equation is not difficult and is easily solved.
CFM = (Displacement (cubic inches) * Volumetric Efficiency * RPM) / ( Speed (mph) * 2 * 1728 * 60 * 1.467) 
CFM(cubic feet per minute) is not a useful parameter in scoop size although it does give you an indication of how much air you are pumping and is a great starting plce for figuring carburetor (jeeze, did I spell that right?). Remember also that the volumetric efficiency is highest at the torque peak (I think!) and can in some instances be greater than 100% because of ram tuning. My advice is that unles you have something like Dyno 2000 which can give you a volumetric efficiency number for your engine parameters, then I humbly suggest that you use 90% or 0.9 in the equation. I also assume you all know how to determine the displacement of your engine? If not, email me and I'll tell you. Awww hell, it's Disp = number of cylinders times bore times bore times 0.7854 times stroke.
CFS = CFM / (60) 
CFS (cubic feet per second) divided by the target speed in feet per second gives the scoop size in square feet.
Scoop size (sq ft) = CFS / (Speed (mph) * 1.467)
But let's convert this puppy to square inches by multiplying scoop size by 144 sq inches per sq ft.
Scoop Size (sq inches) = Scoop Size (sq ft) * 144 sq inches per sq ft
Now that wasn't too hard was it? But I will combine all the above and simplify so the math gets easier.
Scoop Size (sq inches) = 0.00047338 * ( Disp * Vol Eff * RPM) / Speed (mph)
How big does a scoop need to be to supply a 369 cubic inch engine with a vehicle target speed of 240 mph. Volumetric efficiency of the engine at 8000 rpm is 90%. 
Plugging into the friendly formula and find....
Scoop Size (sq inches) = 0.00047338 * (369 * 0.9 * 8000) / 240 = 5.24 square inch opening for a motor at 8000 rpm and going 240 mph.

Now what size scoop opening is needed for the acceleration phase of the speed run? Lets try the same parameters at a speed of 100 mph, WOT, same efficiency...
Scoop Size (sq inches) = 0.00047338 * (369 * 0.9 * 8000) / 100 = 12.57 square inch opening for a motor at 8000 rpm and going 100 mph.

So you can see the problem with using this as gosphel. If you build a sealed air box with the high speed opening, then you will be starving the engine for air at any speed less that the target speed! This will cause the air density going into the engine to be decreased and while the cfm going into the engine may be the same, the mass of ais isn't. This may cause an over rich condition or may even lean out the engine because of poor metering signals for the fuel flow. 
This has been a serious effort to try and determine how big a scoop needs to be to meet a given speed requirement while minimizing drag. During the analysis it was found that scoop size for a given speed and engine conditions can be deterined. but that this scoop size is inadequate for slower vehicle speeds at the same given rpm. As a get off the stage commentary, I would suggest that the very best air intake system can be found on the NASCAR Winston Cup cars: the inlet is at the base of the windshield and is a very large opening. Since it is in stagnant high pressure air, ne penality is for drag is observed, plus you get a bit of a boost! I would futher comment that the scoops which have the opening against the glass but which are also very tall and further insulting the air flow problem because the high speed air over the top of the scoop is actually sucking the air from the scoop, not the other way around. Point that puppy into the wind, boys! If you use this or a similar technique or the same methodology, just remember, your milage may vary :^}.
I have been investigating the use of some 2D Computational Fluid Dynamics programs to visualize the flow in a scoop. I have found one that looks interesting, but the freebie demo only has 31 x 31 nodes for the solution matrix. I can buy the full code which has 301 by 301 nodes for a mere 300 bucks...from Japan. Maybe, I dunno...
Copyright (C) 1998 - 2004, all dates inclusive, L.E. Mayfield - All Rights Reserved

NACA Ducts

NACA stands for "National Advisory Committee for Aeronautics". NACA is one of the predecessors of NASA. In the early days of aircraft design, NACA would mathematically define airfoils (example: NACA 071) and publish them in references, from which aircraft manufacturers would get specific applications
The purpose of a NACA duct is to increase the flowrate of air through it while not disturbing the boundary layer. When the cross-sectional flow area of the duct is increased, you decrease the static pressure and make the duct into a vacuum cleaner, but without the drag effects of a plain scoop. The reason why the duct is narrow, then suddenly widens in a graceful arc is to increase the cross-sectional area slowly so that airflow does separate and cause turbulence (and drag).
NACA ducts are useful when air needs to be drawn into an area which isn't exposed to the direct air flow the scoop has access to. Quite often you will see NACA ducts along the sides of a car. The NACA duct takes advantage of theBoundary layer, a layer of slow moving air that "clings" to the bodywork of the car, especially where the bodywork flattens, or does not accelerate or decelerate the air flow. Areas like the roof and side body panels are good examples. The longer the roof or body panels, the thicker the layer becomes (a source of drag that grows as the layer thickens too).
Anyway, the NACA duct scavenges this slower moving area by means of a specially shaped intake. The intake shape, shown below, drops in toward the inside of the bodywork, and this draws the slow moving air into the opening at the end of the NACA duct. Vortices are also generated by the "walls" of the duct shape, aiding in the scavenging. The shape and depth change of the duct are critical for proper operation.

all i can do is try to take this stuff in as helpful information but not as a solution...

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

i's am in needs of somes partses

if you have or know someone who has a '77 or '78 yz400, please drop us a line. work on the salt bike needs to start up again and i could use some parts, mainly engine parts, such as a working one, cause mine is yoasted. also on the "need to get list" is one 17" aluminum rim that take 36 spokes. 

1974 YZ A 

YZ 80 A SERIAL # 462-000101 - 009661 
YZ 125 A SERIAL # 453-000101 - 007730 
YZ 250 A SERIAL # 431-000101 - 004104 
YZ 360 A SERIAL # 432-000101 - 000631 

1975 YZ B 

YZ 80 B SERIAL # 492-000101 - 018570 
YZ 125 B SERIAL # 453-100101 - 101620 
YZ 250 B SERIAL # 483-000101 - 002759 
YZ 360 B SERIAL # 484-000101 - 001459 

1976 YZ C 

YZ 100 C SERIAL # 1J4-000101 - 003470 
YZ 125 C SERIAL # 537-000101 - 014044 
YZ 125 X SERIAL # 1G8-000101 - 007120 
YZ 175 C SERIAL # 1L8-000101 - 001610 
YZ 250 C SERIAL # 509-100101 - 103405 
YZ 400 C SERIAL # 510-100101 - 102838 

1977 YZ D 

YZ 100 D SERIAL # 1J4-000101 - 103550 
YZ 125 D SERIAL # 1W1-000101 - 015610 
YZ 250 D SERIAL # 1W3-000101 - 006520 
YZ 400 D SERIAL # 1W4-000101 - 006720 

1978 YZ E 

YZ 100 E SERIAL # 2K5-000101 - 006572 
YZ 125 E SERIAL # 2K6-000101 - 015080 
YZ 250 E SERIAL # 2K7-000101 - 009850 
YZ 400 E SERIAL # 2K8-000101 - 007406 

1979 YZ F 

YZ 100 F SERIAL # 2W5-000101 - N/A 
YZ 125 F SERIAL # 2X3-000101 - N/A 
YZ 250 F SERIAL # 2X4-000101 - N/A 
YZ 400 F SERIAL # 2X5-000101 - N/A 

1980 YZ G 

YZ 100 G SERIAL # 3R2-000101 - ON 
YZ 125 G SERIAL # 3R3-000101 - ON 
YZ 250 G SERIAL # 3R4-000101 - ON 
YZ 465 G SERIAL # 3R5-000101 - ON

this list is stolen from factory-yz.com


Monday, October 25, 2010

well worth the $9.50 admission

if i only like a small part of something, why would i take a big picture of it?

Saturday, October 23, 2010

International Speedway of Fun

isn't this the kind of track where the cars are always flipping into the stands? so glad i now live only a couple miles away from this hub of madness.

things i learned today...

when you have poison ivy, don't scratch your nuts.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


you gotta understand that i did not add any colors that were not already there; those wheels are no joke.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

the "to-do" list is filling up...

just a couple excuses to do stupid things...

(in no particular order, sorta)

one thing crossed off the "to-do" list is the annual douching of my sled. work is taking me away and so my season is done for the year. kinda sad but its been a hell of a season. almost 8,000 miles this year and this turd has proved itself seaworthy yet again. all of the breakage was normal wear 'n tear and only once was i left on the side of the road (clutch cable fail) and i don't mind giving credit where it's due: Truett&Osborne for the motor, guidance from Cape Cod Choppers and Dylan for moral support and more "guidance". and maybe even a pat on the back for myself for work well done; i may be a moron but my shit always made it there.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

new "reliable transportation"

so the van had a meltdown and i cried. fortunately with a little "retail therapy" i have begun the healing process. my recovery started with the purchase of one 1973 Chevy K20. the price was right and it ran but even more fortunately for me was it needed a little TLC; some fresh goo in the joints, gaskets and new dino-lube in the spinny parts. it really felt good to be working on a straight forward machine.

some sweet features include:
the super rad and spotless bench seat with the high point in the center. every bump in the road bounces you towards the door. and no, the lap-only seatbelt doesn't help.
 my friends said this was a good axel to have. someone named Dana made it when he was 44 or something.
 and apparently, more bolts is better as it pertains to a differentail cover. i call bullshit, just more stuff to loose. i coulda held it on with one.
 some one put an edelbrock on top, awesome, i think. at least its easy to work with. but its what you don't see in the pic that is really why i bought it: NO WIRES! well, i guess a couple. but the wiring diagram only takes up half a page so there is a slim chance that a re-re like me might understand it.
 friends who know things also said to look for 4-bolt endcaps. okay, found 'em, now what? do i win something?
 big tires to make up for my little weewee.
 dog approved.
and bossgirl has hereby named this vee-hikle Dubbledikken cause i can't seem to "fix" it right the first time. 

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


"know what i see when i trip?
the rats in the basement all start to flip.
run through my buildin from door to door,
i swear there's a fire so i piss on the floor.
and down the corridor is Old Fat Ned,
schemin on a blow job from a crack head.
he was like 'hay wanna piece little man'?
i was like 'yo i'm better off with my hand'.
another rip, quick reality returns,
i need another hit but the glue won't burn.
i'm kookoo and murderous or just plain nuts
smokin sodium pentathol cigarette buts and tripping"

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

had to say good-by to a dear friend...

i have had so many stoopid-good times with this hunk of junk i honestly shed a tear as it went up onto the flat-bed for the last time.
 so many times this beast has gotten me through horrible weather on either a rescue or just getting home. the rest of my former team would agree, the van was a team player. it provided shelter and heat while the command posts were being set up, team transport and i even hauled off a couple dead bodies.
 some magic marker fun while dylan and i made our way to Bonneville; he was pretty bored.
 for a couple months this was my temporary home. when i couldn't make it home between one of my 5 jobs at the time, all i needed was a sleeping bag and a camp stove. shoot, thanks to its ability to swallow almost anything i was able to move my brother out of his apartment with one trip! and when you're doing a move in the middle of the night while the roomies are away, one trip is all you get.

 the flame thrower was handy for merging onto the highway when no one wants to let you in.
 gonna miss this turd
100,000 miles in 6-ish years in an old Air Guard van. including: 3 transcontinental trips, one groom's abduction, 2 smoke out wests, countless epic camping trips, too many hitch-hikers, boatloads of dirty van humpin and more "are we dead yet" moments than i care to recount. you will be missed.