Holy moley, what a week...

So I think I have caught up on enough sleep to start telling the tales of our road trip. Suffice to say, it was not as I expected and many of my predictions did not pan out. Most notably the ones that foretold doom for our participants. By some strange alignment of the cosmos we all made it; bodies, bikes, and criminal records have remained unchanged. Kinda disappointing ain't it? Whatever. I have so many pictures and so do the other turds. We are all gonna try to tell our own tales, but this one is mine. Although I am only going through a little bit here. I will be putting up the bike pics a little later because there are far too many. Anyways...

I landed in Logan Airport and maybe 2 hours later I found myself on two wheels heading west. The first stop was to Kurt Muffin-bagel's house...

The second campsite was behind Acme food stores just a little south of Philly. Kinda boring so lets move on.
I landed at South of the Border the next day and I must say that this place gets dumber and dumber every time I visit. The fireworks selection is still top notch but stores like "hats from around the world" really just mean Mexico and the hot dogs should be avoided at all costs. I did learn a lesson however: it is possible to be called a vagrant at a glorified truck stop. I think this was bullshit, but the cop was not in the mood to discuss things further. An insinuation regarding the barbed electrodes in his side holster motivated me further down my destination list.
And then Rockingham... I was just a little early. I did manage to run the 1/4 mile and unofficially made a blistering 55mph pass through the traps. I could have pushed it up to 60 but my lame steed still had to get me 1,000 miles home.
Gentle Ken and Dennis managed to show up the next day. Here is Dennis doing a very sad burnout. In fact, burnout is a bit to strong a word. He misted the tire, but his heap was in the same bit as mine with still a heap of miles to go on the trip.
I found some local culture...

Enjoyed some southern rock...

Watched Dylan make hate to his 4 speed...
And then came the apocalypse. Rain and wind like I have never seen. It leveled the campground.
Dennis was trying to save what was left of our lean-to.
Dylan donned his armor...
Kenny panicked and thought the world was ending. He figured a smoke was his best course of action.
Dylan wanted to do one last watery burnout...
And maybe tomorrow I will figure out how to explain this picture.

The life and times of Steady Jeff

Welcome one and all to the trials and tribulations of Steady Jeff. As my first entry to this blog, I wanted to start off with a personal win since it may very well be my last. This is my newly acquired 1984 Honda Nighthawk 700s. Just a battery, some brake fluid for the clutch, and a good carb douching and we have a sea worthy vessel. I'd like to thank Dylan, NAPA Auto Parts, my mom's driveway, and Chris "North" Corriea for making this possible.

Suicide Machine

60 hp in a 245lb package.

See you at the Smokeout!

phase one complete...

phase one of the road trip is complete and Montana is...... ummm...... in a word.....

super mucho fabuloso! and now i need to go convince my silly ironhead to take me to the Smoke Out......

Slipping clutch

Factory authorized KTM primary gear wedge tool#123456789
Perhaps the 9 bald friction plates are the problem. Lame.
Time to make some phone calls...

Research and development.

Gentle Ken testing a new hands-free cellular communication device. (looking very dapper as usual)

Still the best looking horse in the stable.

Goodbye...again.

As much fun as I've had on this bike, the time has finally come to burn the photographs and start seeing new exciting bikes. For the 3rd time, so long.

For all your final drive needs...

Contact Rebel Gears at 931-788-1617. They can make you a custom sprocket for whatever bolt pattern, chain size, and tooth number you need and can take your order over the phone faster than papa ginos. I received this sprocket to convert an RD350 to a 520 chain in 3 days for the very fair price of $53 and its honestly one of the highest quality sprockets I've seen. For more info see there website www.rebelgears.com

Yo shitters...

Okay so it's go-time and we have been slacking on the posts lately, but for good reason (not pussy this time). It's June and a lot of things are coming together at both the Coconut Customs North and West Campuses.

Dylan is hammering out the final details on his ACO bike and to say things are down to the wire is a gross understatement. So much in fact, that due to our sick sense of humor, the maiden voyage/shake-down run may be the required 10 miles from "mysterious points unknown" to the Smoke Out. I for one, can't wait to see him bump-start that monster along side the rest of the contestants...we are turds, no doubt.

On my end, I will be away from my porn-cube for a couple weeks to venture out into unknown territory. First I fly to Montangya so I can find a new place to live, a job, and a hope and a prayer. Then as soon as I land back east, I head south-bound to Rockingham, NC. This will prove to be a bit tricky. Not only will I be fighting the jet-lag and a week of car-camping, but the bike is in a staggering state of neglect. Along with a cracked primary cover, a worn clutch, spent chain and sprockets, stripped screw holes and a bald tire; I am also sorting out an electrical ghost and "sweaty heads". All just days before a 2,000 mile journey. On the plus side, I got a new tent.

The other returds involved are all getting there shit together. Steadyjeff has been boned by the Triumph gods and will not be getting his steed together in time for the party. He is however sweaseling towards enough days off to get his ass south. Only time will tell on that one, but his cutie-girl is pumped on the idea so at least he has some motivation. Gentle Ken has barely enough time off to make it, but he will no doubt be doing 90+mph to and from the festivities. If anyone can pull it off, he can. He has go-nads of fury and a bike that likes him.

So this is us signing off for a little while. When we get back I'm sure we'll have a couple stories, some burns, a rash, a bail bondsman, acute memory loss, no money, at least one new piston, and hopefully a bunch of pictures to share.

So fuck-off for now and if you see us anywhere, kick Dylan in the yam-bag THEN say "hi".

Porch found Norton

Porch finds?

Paul's KTM

Should be in the next issue of Lowside Syndicate, or the dude over there was just blowing smoke.

Drafting table

Aftermarket...

What is with all the cracked cases lately?